For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.
+ 44239
i wanna watch a scary movie with you and we get so scared we accidently end up having sex somehow
+ 86174
the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk
The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt
The best part about the big spoon is that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.
Three types of people
+ 179450
*loses followers*
*loses friends*
*loses bobby pins and hair ties*
*loses internet connection*
*loses phone*
*loses life*
*gains weight*
+ 53179
once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”
+ 87962
my brother just walked in here with a bunch of pancakes and was like ‘wow this is a whole lot of pancakes’ and then he closed his eyes and whispered to himself ‘but i am a whole lot of man’
+ 153981
